Are We There Yet?

Today, I officially hit the 35 week mark. That means I have approximately 5 weeks remaining, give or take. I'm feeling so many different emotions. It varies hour to hour. I'm really excited and happy for the most part, but I'm starting to get nervous. It's completely normal to worry about everything with your first baby, but I tend to take it to another level. If there is any advice I can give to any first time moms.... Step away from the computer! Do not type another pregnancy question into google! It will only end in anxiety. I have worried myself sick. When I had my first 4D ultrasound, Tatum had her legs above her head in some crazy gymnast position. It did not look comfortable. She wasn't being as active as she had been in previous days, so I referred to google. I think I typed in something along the lines of, "baby with feet above head". Ridiculous, I know. Some lady had posted something like, "My baby was born with her feet above her head, and they didn't come down for 2 weeks." So, here I am, literally convinced that Tatum was stuck that way, and couldn't move. The googling still continues everyday. I can't stop myself. So, needless to say, I'm ready for this to be over with. I will miss feeling her inside my tummy, but I'm ready to stop freaking out about every little thing. It probably won't stop. I can definitely see myself being the hovering mother that watches her baby breathe all night. It's a good thing I have the t.v. baby monitor!

I went to the doctor on Monday. I saw a lady doctor this time. She was amazing. She even asked me if I wanted to know how much weight I had gained. I told her no, and she quickly moved on. Dr.Hood will give me the update, I'm sure, when I go in next week! Everything is great with the baby. The Doctor said she was small. She is sideways in my stomach, but there is still 5 weeks for her to move. She just has to move. I'm not one of those people who cringes at the thought of a C-Section, but I would like to experience a normal delivery.. I think. My blood pressure was way higher than it normally is. It was not too high, but it was high for me. So, I'm trying to take it easy. Google didn't help with this problem either! My cousin let me borrow her blood pressure monitor. I probably checked it like every 30 minutes the next day. Hopefully when I see Dr.Hood on Monday, everything will be great. Did I mention that he is famous? Oh yeah, my doctor is going to be on The Real Housewives of Atlanta this season. Hilarious. I'm going to ask him to autograph my belly on Monday. :)

I went on a tour of Gwinnett Medical Center. It was very informative, and very cold! The nurse that took us on our tour was super nice. I'm happy that I'm having my baby there. I'm still a little confused on what I'm supposed to bring to the hospital. I feel like I'm going to need a 5 piece luggage set. Thank goodness I live near by, and have tons of amazing family members that will be there to help with everything. It seemed very quite in the hospital when we went. That will definitely change when my family and friends are in the building. My delivery room would probably make for some great entertainment in itself. With my mom, Mimi, and cousin Abby in the room, I will have a variety of personalities to make things go..... smoothly. I can't wait!

Ok, I have to give some major props to my amazing mother really quick. My mom deserves the "Grandmother/Father/Husband/Bestfriend/Sister/Handywoman/Craftsman Of The Year" award. She has literally done EVERYTHING for me during these past months. My poor mom. I don't know what Tatum and I would do without her. She has worked so hard on Tatum's nursery.  If I didn't have her, it wouldn't get done! She will be an amazing Grandmother to Tatum. We are very lucky to have her. Thank you, mom! I love you!

I will be sure to keep everyone posted on the next few weeks. Thank you so much for reading about my journey! I'm super anxious and excited about everything. Please keep me and Tate in your prayers! We are almost there!

33 Weeks

I'm officially 33 weeks and 2 days pregnant. Whew. This week has been a bit tough for me. Mentally, I feel great. I don't know what it is about being pregnant, but on most days I really do feel better than I have in a very long time. Physically... YUCK! How on earth is this baby still getting bigger? It's starting to get difficult to do everyday activities. Just a couple of hours ago, I asked myself, "Am I just lazy, or is it normal to have trouble getting clothes out of the dryer?". Knowing that I still have 6 weeks to go, I'm trying to just suck it up and get as much rest as possible! My wonderful mother brought home a cool "pregnancy pillow" last week. It looks very similar to a giant wedge of cheese. It really does help keep my comfortable at night.  But seriously guys, how is this baby going to get bigger?

In the last 7 1/2 months, I have been given so much amazing advice about what to expect while being pregnant, and how to properly take care of a baby. I honestly don't know what I would do without the guidance of my family and friends. I needed advice then, I need it now, and I will need it for the rest of my life. I was never THAT girl who wanted kids all her life. Although I truly do feel like I will be an amazing mother, I really don't know what I'm doing. Does anyone? I was pushing Tatum's new stroller that FedEx delivered around the house today, and I just started busting out laughing. I looked at my mom and said, "I literally cannot take myself seriously.", to which she replied, "Oh, thats great.".. haha.. I knowI will catch on to everything. My motherly instinct will kick into gear. I just find it really funny that a year ago I would have never pictured myself deciding which kind of diaper my baby will like best. I would not change it for anything! Now, can anyone give my mom advice on how to stop calling Tatum "it" and "he"? That would be great. 

I know it's completely normal when you're expecting your first baby, for people to throw in their two cents on everything. Sometimes it's great. There is so much I need to learn, so hearing personal experiences from other is very helpful. Other times, it can seem a bit unnecessary. At this point in my pregnancy, I have learned to just smile and try and change the subject, but it can be difficult. Let me try and give a couple of examples. I hear this comment a lot, and it is often spoken with a sweet tone of voice and a smile. I guess to try and camouflage it a bit..  "It's going to hurt you so bad when she comes out... So. Bad." Ahh, What a revelation. I was under the impression that it was going to be the warmest, most fluffy experience of my life. THANK YOU for clearing that up and reminding me.  I get this one a lot when I talk about how excited I am for Tatum's arrival.. "You may be excited now, but after a few weeks you will want to shove her back up there!" I'm not sure there is anything this child can do that will EVER make me want to put her back "up there". I am ready for her to evacuate my body and for no reason at all will I want her to return. Sometimes I can see visible fear in peoples eyes when I tell them I'm delivering at Gwinnett Medical Center. The last thing I want to hear right now is horror stories about my hospital. It's already scary enough trying to prepare yourself for everything without all of that! Thank goodness I know that although there will be difficult times ahead, it will absolutely be worth it. I will try to remember this in the future when I want to tell women how hard the 3rd trimester can be. And,  Tatum, I promise I will never want to put you back up there! At least until you're a teenager. :)

Catching Up

Hello friends! I have experienced my first writers block. Too soon? No, truthfully, I have been super busy lately. There are so many great things happening for me right now, I don't even know where to begin!

I went to the doctor last week. For most pregnant women, going to the doctor is an exciting time. Something to look forward to every month. Yeah... Not for this gal. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE hearing my little girls heartbeat. It's amazing. As a first time mommy I'm constantly wondering if everything is okay, so a strong heartbeat is always nice to hear. I absolutely dread stepping on that scale every month. It literally gives me anxiety. My doctor has zero bedside manner. He never smiles. I'm terrified of him. Everyone keeps insisting to me that he is the best man for the job even if he isn't the sweetest. I can handle that. I know he is just trying to make sure the baby is as healthy as possible, but sheesh! At least he is easy on the eyes. ;) Within the last few weeks, my swelling has become out of control! Here's a helpful hint.. If you are planning (I obviously was not) on having a baby, try and plan to NOT be pregnant in the middle of summer. The heat is almost too hard to bare. I think it has contributed a lot to my disappearing ankles. When it comes to my weight, I have accepted my fate for the time being; However, I can't wait to get back to my old self again! I have never been more excited to work out. Tatum is perfectly healthy, and measuring about a week ahead of time. I have a feeling she will be big!

This past weekend was a very special one! On Saturday, my Aunt Glori, and cousins, Abby and Dulce, threw me the best shower ever! It was so perfect. The food was so yummy, the decorations were beautiful, and I was surrounded by my favorite people all day. I was, and still am, so overwhelmed with the amount of love Tatum and I were shown on Saturday. I could cry just thinking about it. I got to see family members that live far away and family that I see all of the time. I had all of my best friends (Tatum's Aunties) in the same place at once. My mom got to spend time with her best girls (The Fatas.) Both of the Grandma's were there. It was just a great day! Words can't describe how thankful I am. Oh, and it's safe to say that if Tate wants to show up early... All of her needs are covered. Well, except for the nursery.  So, I would like to send a special thank you to Aunt Glori, Abby, and Dulce. You guys worked so hard making my shower amazing. I love you so much!

The 10th anniversary of 9/11 was yesterday. It really effected my more than I expected. It brought back all of the emotions I felt ten years ago when it all happened. I mostly felt very sad, but I still sometimes get a little angry when I think about it. Most of us got to go to bed that night knowing that our families were safe, but so many people were still searching for their loved ones for days to come. It breaks my heart. I know people struggle everyday, but I hope the friends and families of the 9/11 victims have somehow found peace. I'm so thankful for all of the men and women who keep us safe everyday and night.

Once again, I would like to say thanks to everybody who made my shower amazing. I have the greatest people in my life. Everything is going perfectly right now. FALL IS ALMOST HERE! Who isn't super excited about that? I hope I still fit into my Ugg boots. Even if your not a fan of cold weather, I know there are plenty of latte lovers out there that are very happy for the return of the fall choices at Starbucks! :)  I'm very much looking forward to the next chapter of my life. Tatum will be arriving in less than two months. Wow. I will keep everyone updated on anything going on with baby and me! Stay classy San Diego. (I just had to...)

Tough Love And Being Pregnant

This post will be a difficult one for me to get through. I try, at most times, to always take the high road with my special situation. It gets VERY hard. Calling somebody's personal issues out on a blog is not what I'm trying to do here. I do want to share my story with complete honesty, but I will try to do that and remain as respectful as possible. There is nothing that I can say that will hurt more than having to explain to your own daughter why you were not around when she was in her mommy's belly.

I met Tatum's father a couple of years ago. I don't remember the exact date. We had a few mutual friends. I really never had a second thought about him. I don't even really know if officially met him until later because he was far from my type, and I could have cared less. I just knew the name. I was more attracted to the "artsy" Johnny Depp type.. He was more the Marshall Mathers type. You get it, right? At some point last year, I still can't pinpoint the date, we just happened to connect through close friends. It was becoming an every weekend thing. I STILL was not interested in the slightest at first, but after so many weekends of being together something grew on me.  Let me also clarify.. This was a very difficult time in my life. Emotionally, I was not at my best. I had just had a huge falling out with one of my greatest friends who also happened to be my boss. So, I was 24 years old, jobless, boyfriend-less, and down a best friend. Not good. I don't really know if I have ever been in a lower place. I was pretty much looking for love and attention from anyone I could get it from. He just happened to fill that void at the time. It's my fault for falling for nonsense from somebody who was drunk every time we were together, but I didn't care. I'm sure there are plenty of ladies out there, and possibly men too, that understand how I was feeling. Again, I completely ignored all of the advice my smart mother was giving me. From day one she didn't understand what the attraction was. I don't understand it either looking back. It seemed to make much more sense to me at the time. There was no wining and dining unless I was paying for it, and there was definitely no sweet nothings whispered in my ear unless it was, "Yo, will you grab me another beer? Aight.".. Just pure loneliness and boredom. As horrible as it seems now, at some point during this joke of a relationship, the miracle happened. It's far from a Cinderella story, but life is not perfect.

When I found out I was pregnant with Tatum, my first thought was, "I can't do this." Tatum's father was very much in my life when we first found out. I give credit where credit is due. He was very supportive and tried to comfort me as much as possible. I thought long and hard about every option I had. This was a decision that I would have to live with for the rest of MY life. Nobody else's. Mine. The good, the bad, and the ugly. We came to the final decision, to have a little family, together. The together part lasted for about a week. I could no longer live the same partying lifestyle that I was living before. I was officially boring. He was gone. There was nothing I could say or do to change his mind about anything. I tried everything I could. Okay, maybe THIS was the lowest point in my life. I was pregnant and single. Thats a place that no girl ever imagined going in her life. I don't think I have ever cried so much.. EVER. Thank God I had my best friend, Erica, and her mother to assure me that everything would be fine eventually. I didn't see that, though. As far as I was concerned, my life was over. I didn't think it was fair to bring a child into the world without both parents together in a loving home. I have experienced, first hand, what it's like to come from a broken home. It's hard. A few weeks went by, and I finally worked up enough strength to tell my mother. Ouch. Another low point. I don't need to dwell on what that was like, so I will just say that I had to move out for a week or so. After giving it some time, my mom came around. She was still not happy, and she let it be known quite often. It was tough. My mom's love and approval means more to me than anyones. Even after Tate's first ultrasound, she was still in a state of shock, but she never left my side.........

Second Trimester: Mom moves to Florida!!!!

Ok, so she did leave my side for a minute. My mother has always dreamt of living on the coast. She was planning to move to the beach long before I became pregnant, and I didn't want that to stop her. It was a big deal for me to make my mom feel like I could handle things on my own. I still had my close family, so I was fine with her moving.  Talk about a mental breakdown... the day she left was harder than I expected, but I got through it. Still, nothing from Tatum's father. He made it abundantly clear that partying was far more important than me being pregnant with his first child. He was not around for any of this. I couldn't even reach him on the phone if I wanted to. I did, however, get a chance to speak to his parents for the first time on the day of my 20 week ultrasound... It's a girl! YAY! At this point of my pregnancy I was as happy as could be. I missed my mom and had my share of hard days, but thats to be expected. I was spending a lot of time with my wonderful cousin, Abby, and I had my faithful puppies. Life was good! Cherry on top.... My mom came home for good on July 4th weekend. She just couldn't stay away!

So, here I am.. 31 weeks. Other than the fact that I have gained an obscene amount of weight, I feel great! I don't think I have ever been more ready for fall weather. I do not recommend being pregnant in the summertime. Whoa.  Atlanta has had one of the hottest summers to date and my body is feeling it big time. I have seen Tatum's father one time since my 6th week of pregnancy. I do have really bad days sometimes. Who wouldn't? I do not miss the person anymore. I have finally regained my fun personality and sense of humor that I somehow lost touch of for awhile. I don't feel lonely anymore. As soon as I made the decision to shut out all of the negativity and bad people I was surrounding myself with, my life became easier and happier. The people you have in your life will make who you are. My daughter is now the top priority, and she deserves the best life I'm capable of giving her. Do I wish that I had a partner to share this amazing journey with? Yes. Of course in a perfect world things would be a little different, but at some point you have to stop seeing things for what they could have been and make the best of reality. My reality is that I'm about to have a child who will need a strong mommy who loves her unconditionally regardless of the bad things going on around her. I have to be positive for her! That is what is most important. If I have learned anything through this, its that I can handle ANYTHING. If there is ever a challenge thrown my way (there will be plenty), I'm ready.

Whew... that was super long. I'm still trying to figure out how to put everything into written words. Now that I have caught my story up to present time things will become shorter. :) I'm so glad people are enjoying this. It feels so good to get it all out! I appreciate all of the love and support everyone has given me. THANK YOU!

Hello World...

Hello everyone! Please bare with me as I figure this "blog" thing out. I have never attempted to write a blog, so this could take me awhile. First, I will give everyone a little backstory on me.

My name is Maggie. I'm 25 years young and have lived in Lawrenceville, Georgia all of my life. I was raised primarily by my amazing mother, Lisa. I still live with her today in the house I have lived in since middle school. Growing up, I was a good kid. My parents divorced when I was very young, so I think I just experienced the normal issues that children have when living without both parents present. My mother is my best friend! As I get older I grow closer to my father, but growing up I was constantly up my mothers rear end. Sorry, mom! After graduating high school, I went away to a small college for a year to study.... drinking? Normal college behavior. The "living in a dorm" thing was NOT for me. Let's not forget that I'm completely attached to my mom, so I came home! It's not that I'm spoiled by her. I have been taking care of myself (laundry, food, cleaning) since a very young age. I just truly love hanging out with her. When I came home I went to a couple of community colleges. I took a few classes. Worked full-time. I then decided to go to Cosmetology school. Honestly, I should have done this from the get go. I have always wanted to do hair, but I wanted the college experience. I strongly recommend going to college if not just for the memories. I made some really amazing friends while I was there. I didn't do so hot in the academic department, but at least I gave it the ole college try! So, now I'm in a career that I truly love, and I'm actually really good at it. Obviously, like everyone else, I'm being strongly affected by this awful economy. I love doing hair so much, I have to believe it WILL get better. I work at a small salon in Buford, Georgia. Good people, good times. Would I rather be living in Manhattan, doing hair, and strolling around in a pair of Louboutin heels like Carrie Bradshaw (Aiden days..)? Absolutely. But,  I'm here. I'm trying to make the best out of every situation that comes flying at me.  My negativity can get the best of me some days, but I'm only human.

Thats pretty much where my life is at right now. There is one small detail I have left out. It's not huge, but a small fragment of my story. I'm 31 weeks pregnant with a precious baby girl! Her name will be Tatum Reese. She has completely captured my heart, and I am so thankful that she has decided to set up camp inside of my belly. Also, I am doing this completely alone. YAY! "Alone" is a hard word to use. Truthfully, I am not alone. I have been so blessed with an incredible family. I come from a very Christian conservative family and not everyone agrees with my decision to have a child being that I'm not married. I'm also boyfriend-less. So, that just adds fuel to the fire. Besides those few people, I have been given nothing but support. I'm very thankful. I know that there are women going through more difficult situations than mine, but that doesn't make my journey any easier.  Oh, MY FRIENDS! Now, I do feel like I have lost a few close friends during all of this; although, some of them needed to be lost. Most of them needed to go. I swear, this baby saved my life. More on that later!  My friends who have been in my life for 10 plus years are still here. They are who matter. They keep me laughing constantly. Tatum has some amazing Aunties in her future. There will be many amazingly, hilarious stories about the awesome people in my life.

I really wish I would have taken the time to write about this from the beginning. I swear, I would have a bestselling novel. My mother told me over and over to blog, blog, BLOG! Along with many other things she told me to do, I didn't listen. Now I'm sitting here with all of these thoughts and have no idea where to begin. I have a hard time putting my thoughts into statements that people would actually understand. I will do my best! The coolest part about all of this is that someday my daughter will get to look back and read about everything that happened before her life officially began. I will get better at this, I'm sure. This seems a bit long, but I'm a rambler. I rarely ever post about my personal life on Facebook because, well let's be honest.. Not everyone cares. There are often times when I see peoples Facebook posts and I say to myself, "Oh no they didnt!".. I don't want to do that!  This gives people the option to learn about me if they chose. I have a lot to say and I do not plan on holding back much, so stay tuned folks!   -Maggie Jordan